


Outdoor Limits

by randomramblesff



Category: The Great Indoors (TV)
Genre: Ficlets, I only write for Joel fandoms I'm sorry, Multi, Prompt Fic, from Season 1 onwards I guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-10-07 17:12:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10365552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomramblesff/pseuds/randomramblesff
Summary: A selection of one-shots, ficlets and prompts all based around The Great Indoors. Prompts accepted via harryspaceshipmchale on Tumblr.





	1. “If a zombie bit you, I’d be heartbroken, but I’d also shoot you twice in the head.”

**[Prompted by zacscottysnl](http://harryspaceshipmchale.tumblr.com/post/158511748520) \- Season 1 - Jack/Mason/Clark**

“This door is remaining unlocked because then I will have the opportunity to leave at any moment in which I choose, do you understand me?”

Clark and Mason nod obediently before turning around and sitting on the couch side by side. 

“Your uh… roommate doesn’t still… live here, does she?” Jack asks, slowly sitting himself down on the far edge of the couch next to Mason, waiting for his answer. 

“The one you boned? Nah, she moved out. She got a boyfriend and they went on a road trip.”

“Jeez, she moves fast.”

“Says you, didn’t you bone her in between getting with Rachel?”

“Rachel and I weren’t together at that point so no, technically I… boned her before but anyway, that’s not the point. What am I doing here with you two dummies anyway?”

“Uhh, we’re playing video games, drinking beer and having the time of our lives? What else does it look like?” Clark leans forward to wave a hand in the air. 

“Like we’re three guys about to engage in a threesome on Mason’s couch.”

“I’m up for it if you are. Oh my… no I…” Mason stares with wide eyes, swallowing deeply with Clark and Jack tilting their heads at each other. 

“Put the video game on, Clark.” Jack calls out, watching Clark scurry over to the TV with a squeal.

“I don’t know what I was thinking man, I… I’d like to blame the beer but, I’ve only had three sips.”

“As long as you don’t mention it again, I’ll refrain from punching you in the face or leaving already.”

“Dude, weren’t you the one who had a threesome with those hikers…?”

“They were very beautiful specimens and we shall never speak of this again.”

“Oookay, Zombies it is. Jack, your controller.” Clark strolls back towards them, handing Jack and Mason their controllers before sitting back down, making the sofa bounce. “The aim of the game is to kill as many zombies as possible, if once of us gets bitten, you revive us as soon as possible or we all die. Got it?”

“I don’t the know controls but I’m sure I’ll figure it out, also just to confirm, in real life, if a zombie bit you, I’d be heartbroken, but I’d also shoot you twice in the head.”

Clark holds a hand to his chest and pauses for a moment.

“Awwweeee, you’d be heartbroken?! And you want to be in a threesome with us?!?! Jackkkkk.”

He leans over Mason and stretches his hands out towards Jack who dodges them and leans as far away as possible.

“Nope, nope, nope, this is not happening.”


	2. 20: “You should see me in my old uniform. I’m pretty sure it still fits.”

**[Prompted by zacscottysnl](http://harryspaceshipmchale.tumblr.com/post/158511184660) \- Season 1 - Jack/Rachel**

“So, where are we? All I’m seeing is trees.”

“It’s called a forest. You said you wanted to know more about the outdoor me, so, here we are.”

“I know it’s called a forest Jack but, does it have some kind of meaning behind it? Did you carve your name in a tree trunk or something?”

“I can’t even count the number of tree trunks I’ve carved my name into. But no, through there,” Jack points through a small clearing past the first row of trees in front of them, “there’s an old shack where I used to help out at a kids summer camp. It’s all closed up now but… it’s got some fond memories.”

“Fond memories… what did you do, lose your virginity with one of the other camp leaders?”

“Lose my virginity? I didn’t do it that long ago, and, you really think I’d take you to where I lost my virginity?”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.”

He tilts his head and sighs before stepping forward to lead the way, lunging over fallen branches and stacks of leaves. 

“ _Actually_ , I just like it because I got to teach loads of young kids how to live outside. They each got a pen knife, they got to start fires, learn how to do first aid in the middle of nowhere, you know, all the basics. Oh, watch your step.” He holds out his hand so she doesn’t slip down a small slope, letting her lean all her weight on him.

“Do you like kids?”

“I don’t hate ‘em.”

“Would you want them?”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“Wouldn’t you want a little Jack Gordon to see grow up into a big strong, regular sized Jack Gordon?”

“I don’t know, the magazine has already got me tied to a less adventurous life, I’m not sure I’d want a kid dragging me down too.”

“I think you could still live an adventurous life.”

They reach the clearing then, a flattened space with a wooden shack with a faded sign about to fall off the front. 

“Wow, that’s a sad sight.”

“Not what you had in mind?” Rachel asks, scrunching up her nose as she looks up at him.

“It’s seen better days.”

“Oh, I think that’s a penis spray painted on the side.” Rachel tilts her head so she can see around the corner. 

“Do you want kids?” He looks her up and down, holding up his shoulders partly to prepare himself for her answer but also to straighten his back from where he’s been carrying his rucksack around.

“Maybe. I’d be much more inclined if they had Jack Gordon to teach them how to start a fire, though. I can handle the first aid, you know, as a doctor.”

“Right. Yeah.”

They both laugh at each other before returning to taking a look around. Rachel braves climbing up onto the front porch of the shack, carefully tiptoeing on the old wood.

“Hey look, someone must have left their cap here.” She picks it up with a disgusted expression on her face, dangling the hat from its peak between her fingertips.

“Ha. That’s part of the gear we had to wear. You should see me in my old uniform. I’m pretty sure it still fits.”

“Ooh, is it super dorky yet super attractive?” She raises her eyebrows as she drops the cap back down to the ground.

“I don’t know, open my rucksack and find out.” He shoots her a similar look, flicking his chin over his shoulder. 

He changes into the polo shirt that clings to every part of him, wearing it for the rest of the day until she peels it off of him later. 

“Super attractive.” She winks.


	3. Girls night in

**[Prompted by cometothefanny](http://harryspaceshipmchale.tumblr.com/post/158485811115) \- Season 1 - Brooke/Esther/Emma**

“Thanks for coming over, I feel very pleased with myself. As much as I _love_ Paul, and I enjoy Clark and Mason and Jack, it’s nice to get away from them and have a bit of _girls_ time.” Brooke shimmies where she’s sat on a cushion in the middle of the living room, a proud smile across her face. Esther snorts and throws her head back.

“Ha! Girls Time, that’s what they called the party at the club I went to last night but it turns out it was only for men who w–.” The door bell rings at that precise moment, prompting Emma to interrupt and stand up. 

“Ooh, pizza. Perfect timing.”

“I wouldn’t say perfect…” Esther rolls her eyes and kicks her legs out so her ankles are crossing, her heeled boots still on.

“Oh, Esther, is there any chance you could take your shoes off and leave them by the door? It’s just that Paul gets a bit uppity about that kind of thing.”

“Oh, is he into that kind of thing? Feet?”

Brooke jolts her neck back, bemused, as Esther stands and chucks them into a corner. 

Emma’s at the door, taking the two stacked pizza boxes from the delivery guy.

“Ooh, thank you.” She winks and shuts the door in his face before turning and waltzing her way back over to Esther and Brooke, placing the boxes down between them ready to be opened up. “Let’s get this pizza party _started.”_

“Ha! Pizza Party, that’s what they called the _other_ party at the club I went to last night but–.”

“I will tell you _one_ thing Paul is into, he likes to dip his pizza in one of the more savoury jams he makes. It’s always confused me a bit. In England, we call it a pickle.”

“Ha! At Pizza Party they had giant pickle-shaped di–.”

“Nope nope, Esther, don’t ruin the word pickle for me.”

“Hmm, this pizza is good.” Emma takes a bite, tugging at it slightly. 

“Speaking of good, I’ve got to tell you–.”

“Esther, please tell me you’re not going to say anything remotely sexual? I’m up for it usually but not when I’m eating.” Brooke cuts in again, but Emma tilts her head and nods in agreement. 

“I was going to say I’ve got to tell you that Jack is looking _reallllll_ good right now. I know that’s bad to say because he has a girlfriend and all but, eh, who cares, am I right?”

“Jack?” Brooke shakes her head and continues to eat the pizza in her hand, stuffing her mouth full so she has an excuse not to talk. 

“When he wears those tight sweaters and he greets me in the morning, oh boy would I like to use a pickle on him…”

“Ooh is this one of those girls nights in where we can talk about guys but never repeat any of the conversation? Because… how many people do you think Jack has slept with in the office? I like Rachel but… I’ve always wondered…” Emma trails off, her pizza slice drooping mid-air. 

“Clark told me you guys saw him naked.”

“Naked?!” Brooke gasps, looking at them both with bulging eyes. 

“He wasn’t naked but… yeah, I’ve seen Jack Gordon in his underwear.”

“Ha, I bet all the cleaning ladies have. And the tech nerds. Zeb wouldn’t mind, either. I’ve seen Zeb naked but you probably already know about that.”

“Yeah, we do.” Brooke nods adamantly. 

“There are probably so many women in the office that that man has seduced…” Emma squints, looking from Esther to Brooke pointedly. 

“I guess we’ll never know! Haha!” Brooke quickly grabs her wine glass from the coffee table and gulps back what she can manage. 

Esther shrugs. 

“Probably guys too.” 


	4. “I never say no to a picnic.”

**[Prompted by cometothefanny](http://harryspaceshipmchale.tumblr.com/post/158484424060) \- Season 1 - Jack/Rachel**

“So, what do you wanna’ do today?”

“Isn’t it _obvious_ what I want to do today?” 

They’re in bed, Jack’s bed specifically due to the ease of leaving Eddie’s bar for the comfort of, well, Eddie’s apartment. Jack’s got his hand cupped over her where the sheets are folded over under her arms, a wicked grin on his face. 

“Jack, as much as I _love_ your enthusiasm, we can’t do this all day. I have a busy week ahead and so do you so we should use our time wisely.” She lifts his hand from where it’s resting on her chest, watching his smile fade but morph into a smirk. 

“It’s the wisest way…” He shrugs and looks off to the side and it makes her want to pinch each side of his cheeks and turn him back to face her, so she does just that, his lips pouting out as she does so.

“I never say no to a picnic.” 

“Do you want to go on a picnic?” He tilts his head as if she hadn’t mentioned it at all.

“That would be nice.”

“Do you still have Bogdan on your Uber account?” He raises an eyebrow, deadly serious.

“I was thinking we would _walk,_ Jack.”

* * *

“Well, does this live up to your never-saying-no-to-a-picnic standards?”

“It does, actually. Although, I suppose we better buy another bottle of this on the way back for Eddie.” They’re sipping from a champagne bottle, passing it between them without glasses because as much as Eddie had been fine with giving them a drink to take, he hadn’t been as content with the idea of them taking anything to drink it out off. Jack had waved off some line about two beer glasses being stolen a month or so ago, laughing and making a show of it to conceal whatever he’d been speaking of.

“Nah, he’ll be fine. He runs a bar, he gets _paid_ to buy more himself.”

Rachel hums then, perching the bottle between her knees to tilt her head and meet him halfway in a kiss. Her fingers find his jaw and they both start laughing breathlessly when he moves to press a kiss under her ear. 

“Shame Bogdan doesn’t own the park too, jeez, we’d be able to do it–.”

“Huh!” Jack sits back to scan her over, her eyes widened and her neck leaning away from her left shoulder. “Jack, I think a bird just took a crap on me.”

He starts laughing when he notices it, a white mark on the red of her blouse. 

“Jack, this isn’t funny. _Jack.”_

“What? A bird pooping on you is a sign of good luck.”

“Well, this picnic is officially ruined.”

“Well, you obviously haven’t been to a bird sanctuary because you get crapped on the _whole time._ I think we should take this as a blessing. We can’t christen this spot ourselves so I guess the bird did it for us.” 

“Jack, remember that time I said I didn’t want to murder you?”

“Yeah. ‘Cause you love me.”

“This is one of those times where I want to do the opposite.”


	5. Don't waste a second of your time here

**Prompted by cometothefanny - Post-Season 1 - Jack Gordon (Jack/Brooke)**

He finds out during one of his fortnightly, one-bar-of-signal phone calls back to the office. 

He almost _doesn't_ because the line goes crackly and Roland's voice fades out to a metallic pitch when he goes to say "because Brooke's being dealing with the break-up". 

He hasn't spoken to her since leaving, mainly because of the bad reception and partly because he doesn't know what to say now. But there's something about the way Roland says it, like maybe she's not dealing with it at all and that's the point, that makes him go back to camp and flick through his notebook to check how many days he has left or whether he can make it work without fulfilling all three months.

It will never be too late to come back if he has to, and Roland would surely forgive him if he couldn't because there _is_ the possibility of it being too late for Brooke. He can't waste that opportunity. He'll fight if he has to.


End file.
